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 Good Manner at Home

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PostSubject: Good Manner at Home   Tue Aug 28, 2012 3:40 am

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Spreading Kindness at Home

‘Aa’ishah radiallaahu ‘anhaa said: “The Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

‘When Allâh subhanahu wa ta’ala wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.’” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/71; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 303)

According to another report:

“When Allâh loves the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.” (Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya and others; Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 1704)

In other words, they start to be kind to one another. This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the spouses, and with the children, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said:

“Allâh loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else.” (Reported by Muslim, Kitaab al-Birr wa’l-Sillah wa’l-Aadaab, no. 2592)

Helping One’s Wife with the Housework

Many men think that housework is beneath them, and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.

The Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, however, used to “sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4927).

This was said by his wife ‘Aa’ishah radiallaahu ‘anhaa, when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam used to do in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said:

“He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671)

She radiallaahu ‘anhaa was also asked about what the Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam used to do in his house, and she said,

“He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 2/162).

If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:

We would be following the example of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

- We would be helping our wives.
- We would feel more humble, not arrogant.

Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed; they do not pick up the child or wait a little while for the food. Let these Hadith be a reminder and a lesson.

Being Affectionate towards and Joking with the Members of the Family

Knowing Wives' Feelings

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her: “I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: “No, by the God of Ibrahim”.

Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2439]

Understanding their Jealousy & Love

Umm Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: Eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.

[Narrated by: Um Salama – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Sahih Al-Nasa’i – Page or number: 3966]

Complaining to & Consulting them


The Prophet – peace be upon him – has consulted his wives in the most delicate and important matters such as consulting his wife Um Salama – May Allah be pleased with her – in Al-Hudaibia Treaty. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has written the treaty between him and the polytheists of Quraish in Al-Hudaibia region, in the Hudaibia year and told his companions: Go to make immolation and shave, but no one responded. The Prophet – peace be upon him – repeated that three times but still no one responded to him. Then the Prophet – Peace be upon him – went to Um Salama and told her about the matter. Hearing that, Um Salam said: O Prophet of Allah, just go and don’t speak to any one until you make your immolation and shave. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – went out and did not speak to any one until he did the same. Seeing that, the companions stood and make their immolation and began shaving for each other to the degree that some of them was about to kill the other out of their grief.

[Narrated by: Um Salama Hind Bint Abi Umayiah – Degree: successive – the narrator: Ibn Jarir Al-Tabari – The Source: Tafsir Al-Tabari – Page or number: 2/293]

Demonstrating his Love & Loyalty to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long tradition of Um Zara’ narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara’ and Um Zara” Aisha replied: You are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara’ to Um Zara”.

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Bukhari – The Source: Al-Jame’ Al-Sahih – Page or number: 5189]

Choosing the Best Nicknames to them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha: O Aish (nickname of Aisha), this is Jabril (Angle of revelation) telling you the greetings. Aisha said: May peace and blessings be upon him, you (The Prophet) see what I can’t see. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was calling Aisha “Al-Humairaa” (i.e. white-skinned woman).

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right attribution – the narrator: Ibn Hijer Al-Asqalani – The Source: Fateh Al-Bari of Ibn Hijer – Page or number: 2/515]

Eating & Drinking with them

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: When I drink water from the pot and give the pot to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – Peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine.

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 300]

Tolerating for their Happiness

Aisha narrated that Abu Baker – May Allah be pleased with them – entered to the home of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – while two young girls were striking on the tambourine and signing and while the Prophet – Peace be upon him – laying and covering himself with his clothes. Seeing him, the Prophet uncovered his face and told him: O Aba Baker, let them continue, it is the days of Eid (festival). The said days were Mina Days and the Prophet – Peace be upon him – was in the Medina.

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Al-Albani – The Source: Al-Sahih An-Nasai – Page or number: 1596]

Treating them Fairly while Angry


Once, Aisha was angry of the Prophet – Peace be upon him – So, he told her: Do you accept Abu Obaida Bin Al-Jarrah as a judge between us? She replied: No, this man will not issue a judgment against you in my favor. He said: Do you accept Omar as a judge? She replied: I fear Omar. He said: Do you accept Abu Baker (her father)? She replied: Yes I accept him.

Giving Presents and Showing Affection to their Friends

Aisha – May Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – Peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and says: Send it to the friends of Khadijah”. One day I made him angry; I told him: Why Khadijah! The Prophet – Peace be upon him – said: “I was endowed with her love”. Another narration for this tradition ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2435]

Considering her Best Manners

He said, “The faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character”.

[Narrated by: Abu Huraira – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 1469]

Refraining from Beating or Abusing them

“The Prophet – Peace be upon him – has not ever beaten any woman, any servant or anything in his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah The Almighty. He does not take revenge from anyone harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah The Almighty, at which case, he takes revenge”.

[Narrated by: Aisha – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 2328]

Putting the Bite in her Mouth

The Prophet – Peace be upon him said: “If you expend anything seeking the pleasure of Allah the Almighty, even if you put a bite in the mouth of your wife, He will promote you to a higher degree in Paradise”.

[Narrated by: — – Degree: Right – the narrator: Ibn Taymiyyah – The Source: Majmou’ Al-Fatawa – Page or number: 10/31]

Trusting them

The Prophet – Peace be upon him – prohibited men from knocking the door of their families at night trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes. In another narration, he did not mention “Trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes”.

[Narrated by: Jaber Bin Abdullah – Degree: Right – the narrator: Muslim – The Source: Al-Musnad Al-Sahih – Page or number: 715]

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh): The Ideal Husband

http://theislamichaven.forumotion.com/t749-prophet-muhammad-pbuh-the-ideal-husband

Being Affectionate towards Children

The ways in which the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam showed affection towards young children are too famous to need mentioning. He often used to show his affection towards Hasan and Husayn, as mentioned above. This is probably one of the reason why the children used to rejoice when he came back from travelling; they would rush to welcome him, as reported in the saheeh hadith:

“Whenever he came back from a journey, the children of his household would be taken out to meet him.” He sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam used to hug them close to him, as ‘Abd-Allâh ibn Jafar radiallaahu ‘anhu said:

“Whenever the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam came back from a journey, we would be taken out to meet him. One day we met him, Hasan, Husayn and I. He carried one of us in front of him, and another on his back, until we entered Madeenah.” (Saheeh Muslim, 4/1885-2772; see the commentary in Tuhfat al-Ahwadhi, 8/56).

Compare this with the situation in some miserable homes where there are no truthful jokes [i.e., jokes that do not involve lying], no affection and no mercy. Whoever thinks that kissing his children goes against the dignity of fatherhood should read the following hadeeth: from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu ‘anhu who said:

“The Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam kissed al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, and al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra’ said: ‘I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.’ The Messenger of Allâh sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam looked at him and said:

‘The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’”




http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/the-prophets-emotions-toward-his-wives-brothers-special/
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