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 Islamic Homes and their Related Etiquettes

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Obedient Angel

Join date : 2011-04-30
Posts : 2448

PostSubject: Islamic Homes and their Related Etiquettes   Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:35 pm

Islamic Home Decoration

Abdul Wahid Hamid

From "Islam: The Natural Way"

The Islamic values of faith, love, compasssion, cleanliness and beauty all need to be nurtured in the home. Breifly, the ideal Muslim home would need to be:

Simple and not Ostentatious for the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said:
"Eat, drink, give sadaqah and wear good clothes as long as these things do not invlove excess and arrogance"

Spacious, to allow privacy for parents and separate beds for children from the age of ten, for the noble Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) has advised:
"Separate (your children's) beds when they are ten years of age." This is obviously to prevent such disgusting crimes and sinful behaviour as incest.

Clean, for the noble Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) has said that "Cleanliness is part of faith" and also "Purity is half of faith."

Beautiful and free from such things as statues or revolting pieces of art for the noble Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) has said,

"God is beautiful and loves beauty."

The ideal Muslim home is:

A place where there are the basic necessities of food and clothing (2: 233; 2:235-6), where meals are eaten together and where there is hospitality and generosity;

A place ehre the greeting of Peace (salam) is heard at dawn and at night and at times of going and coming.

A place where love, tenderness and mercy is the norm, for the Qur'an says
"And we have made between you love and tenderness"

A cheerful place, for "Smiling is charity", as the noble Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) has said

A place where the recitation of the Qur'an is heard daily and where knowledge is imparted and pursued.

A place where salat is performed and everyone, young and old, has a sense of time and place - time, in particular, related to the times of salat, and place - determined by the direction of the Qiblah.

This is the basic minimum.

Islamic Etiquettes

The Times when Servants and Young Children Should Seek Permission to Enter

(58. O you who believe! Let your slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission on three occasions: before the Fajr prayer, and while you put off your clothes during the afternoon, and after the `Isha’ prayer. (These) three (times) are of privacy for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, attending to each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Ayat to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.)

(59. And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age) ask permission. Thus Allah makes clear His Ayat for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.)

These Ayat include a discussion of how people who are closely related should seek permission to enter upon one another. What was mentioned earlier in the Surah had to do with how unrelated people should seek permission to enter upon one another. Allah commanded the believers to ensure that their servants and their children who have not yet reached puberty should seek permission at three times: the first is before the Fajr prayer, because people are asleep in their beds at that time.

(and while you put off your clothes during the afternoon,) means, at the time of rest, because a man may be in a state of undress with his wife at that time.

(and after the `Isha’ prayer.) because this is the time for sleep. Servants and children are commanded not to enter upon household members at these times, because it is feared that a man may be in an intimate situation with his wife and so on. Allah says:

((These) three (times) are of privacy for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them) If they enter at a time other than these, there is no sin on you if you let them enter, and no sin on them if they see something at a time other than these times. They have been given permission to enter suddenly, because they are those who go around in the house, i.e., to serve you etc., and as such they may be forgiven for things that others will not be forgiven. Although this Ayah is quite clear and has not been abrogated, people hardly follow it, and `Abdullah bin `Abbas denounced the people for that. Abu Dawud recorded that Ibn `Abbas said: “Most of the people do not follow it, the Ayah that speaks about asking permission, but I tell my servant woman to seek permission to enter.” Abu Dawud said: `Ata’ also narrated that Ibn `Abbas commanded this. Ath-Thawri narrated that Musa bin Abi `A’ishah said, “I asked Ash-Sha`bi [about the Ayah]:

(Let your slaves and slave-girls ask your permission.) He said, `It has not been abrogated.’ I said: `But the people do not do that.’ He said, `May Allah help them.”’ Then Allah says:

(And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age)) meaning: when the children who used to seek permission at the three times of privacy reach puberty, then they have to seek permission at all times, i.e., with regard to those who are non-relatives, and at times when a man may be in a state of intimacy with his wife, even if it is not one of the three times stated above.

Sitting Between Two Persons

When you enter a gathering, do not sit between two persons. Rather sit on their left or right side. Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “No one is to sit between two people without their permission.”[Sunan Abí Dáwud]

When two people are kind enough to make room for you to sit between them, do not sit cross-legged or crowd them out.

Ibnul ‘Arabi [Rahimahullah] quotes a sage who said,

“Two persons are consider unfair:

(1) A person to whom advice is offered and he takes offence to it, and

(2) A person who is favoured with a seat in a narrow space and he sits cross-legged.” [Adabul Imlá Wal Istumlá]

When you are seated between two people, do not eavesdrop, unless it is not a private or secret matter. Eavesdropping is a bad habit and a sin.

Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “Whoever listens to people’s conversation against their wishes, will be punished by molten lead being poured down their ears on the day of Judgement.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Take note that it is inappropriate for you to whisper to someone sitting next to you if you are in a group of three people. By doing so, you are deserting and isolating the third person which will lead him to entertain the worst of thoughts. Such an act does not befit a Muslim. Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] has emphatically negated this as the conduct of a Muslim.

Imam Malik and Abu Dáwud [Rahimahumullah] reported that Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “Never will any two (Muslims) whisper to each other in the presence of a third person.” The choice of words by Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] (“never will” not “never should”) indicates that such a mistake is not only inappropriate but unimaginable and instinctively despicable.

Sayyiduná ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar [Radiallahu anhuma] was asked, “What if there were four?” “Then it does not matter.” he answered, meaning in that case it is not wrong to whisper or to mutter. [Ibid]

Greeting a Gathering

When you enter a room, first greet everyone inside. If you want to shake hands with those present, begin with the most knowledeable, the most pious, the older or those who have similar Islamic distinctions. Do not overlook the most distinguished or most eminent and start with the first on your right. If you cannot decide who is the most reputable, or if those present happen to be of similar status, start with the elderly, for they are easier to recognise.

Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “Exalt the elderly, exalt the elderly.” [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

Imam Abu Ya’lá and At-Tabaráni [Rahimahumullah] in Al-Awsat reported that Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “Start with the notables.” or, he said, “with the elder.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Timing Your Visit

Choose an appropriate time for your visit. Do not visit at inconvenient times such as mealtimes, or when people are sleeping, resting or relaxing. The length of your visit should be in accordance with your relationship with your hosts, as well as in accordance to their circumstances and conditions. Do not overstay your welcome by making your visit too long or burdensome.

Imam An-Nawawi [Rahimahullah] says in his book, “Al-Adhkár”,

“It is strongly recommended for muslims to visit pious people, brothers, neighbours, friends and relatives, and to be generous, kind and obliging to them. However, the duration of the visit varies according to host’s circumstances. The visit ought to be conducted in a pleasant manner and at times convenient to them. There are numerous ahádith and sayings in this regard.”

When you address your host, only discuss appropriate topics together with maintaining brevity in your speech. If you are the youngest in the gathering, then you should only speak when responding to a question posed to you by someone, unless you are certain that your input will be effective, leave an impression and that it will please those present. Do not be lengthy in your speech. Neither should you be careless in your sitting posture, and manner of address.


When you enter the home of your brother or friend, whether as a visitor or an overnight guest, do not closely examine its contents as an inspector would. Limit your gaze during your stay to what you need to see. Do not open closets or boxes. Do not inspect a wallet, a package, or a covered object. This is against Islamic manners and an impolite betrayal of the trust the host has accorded to you, by allowing you to enter his home and reside therein. Be polite, for this would cultivate love and respect for you in the heart of your host. May Allah protect you and take care of you.

Choosing a Seat

Tags: choosing, etiquette, islam, manners, Muslim, seat, Shaykh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah
Do not argue with your host regarding the place where he wants you to sit, rather sit where he asks you to. If you sit where you want to, you may (accidentally) look into a private area of the house, or you may cause inconvenience to the house inmates. Therefore, it is important to adhere to the suggestion of your host and accept his cordial treatment towards you.

Hafidh Ibn Kathír [Rahimahullah] narrated in Al-Bidáyah Wan Niháyah that when the honoured companion Sayyiduná ‘Adi Ibn Hátim At-Táí [Radiallahu anhu] reverted to Islam and came to see Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] in Madinah, Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] honoured him by seating him on a cushion, while he himself sat on the floor.

Sayyiduná ‘Adi [Radiallahu anhu] says, “… then Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] took me along and upon reaching his house, he took a leather cushion filled with palm fibre and threw it on the floor, “Sit on this,” he said, “No, you sit on it,” I answered. Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] insisted, “No, you.” So I sat on it while the Prophet [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] sat on the floor.”

On one occasion Sayyiduná Khárijah Ibn Zaid [Radiallahu anhu] visited Sayyiduná Ibn Sírín [Rahimahullah]. He found Sayyiduná Ibn Sírín [Rahimahullah] sitting on a cushion on the floor and he (Khárijah [Radiallahu anhu]) also wanted to sit together with him on the floor, saying, “I am content as you are.” Sayyiduná Ibn Sírín [Rahimahullah] replied, “In my home, I do not prefer for you what I prefer for myself (since you deserve to be honoured). Sit where you are asked to sit.”

Don’t sit on the host’s seat unleass he asks you to, for our Master [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “No guest should lead the host in salah while in the home of the host, neither should he sit without consent, at the designated seat of the host.” [Sahih Muslim]

Removing Your Shoes

February 12, 2010 at 6:45 am (Etiquette within the home)
Tags: etiquette, islam, manners, Muslim, Removing, Shaykh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah, shoes
When entering the house of your host, or even your own home, be gentle in your manner of entering and leaving. Lower your eyes and your voice. You should take off your shoes at an appropriate spot and set them in an orderly fashion. Do not forget the etiquette of wearing and removing shoes. Put on the right shoes first and remove the left one first,

Rasulullah [Sallallahu álayhi wa sallam] said, “When you put on your shoes, begin with the right and when removing them begin with the left, so that the right shoe be the first to be put on and the last to be taken off.” [Sahih Muslim]

Before entering your house or that of your brothers, inspect your shoes. If they are dirty, remove the dirt or wipe the shoes against the ground. Islam is a religion of cleaniness and courtesy.
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