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 On the Issue of the So-called Wife-beating ..

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On the Issue of the So-called Wife-beating .. Empty
PostSubject: On the Issue of the So-called Wife-beating ..   On the Issue of the So-called Wife-beating .. Icon_minitimeFri Aug 12, 2011 1:08 am


"Men are in charge of women because of that with which Allah has made some of them excel the others, and because of what they expend of their property. Therefore righteous women are obedient, guarding in the unseen because of what God has guarded. And those you fear may be rebellious, admonish them, and share not beds with them, and i/adribuhunna (trans. usually as 'beat') them. If they then obey you, do not seek a way against them. God is ever High, Great." [4:34]

Occasion of Revelation

An understanding of the occasion of revelation of this ayah is also very important. It is explained by Al Wahidi in Asbab Al Nuzul,

Said Muqatil: “This verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed about Sa‘d ibn al-Rabi‘, who was one of the leaders of the Helpers (nuqaba’), and his wife Habibah bint Zayd ibn Abi Zuhayr, both of whom from the Helpers. It happened Sa‘d hit his wife on the face because she rebelled against him. Then her father went with her to see the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. He said to him: ‘I gave him my daughter in marriage and he slapped her’. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said:

‘Let her have retaliation against her husband’.

As she was leaving with her father to execute retaliation, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, called them and said: ‘Come back; Gabriel has come to me’, and Allah, exalted is He, revealed this verse. The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: ‘We wanted something while Allah wanted something else, and that which Allah wants is good’.

In another narration, Yunus ibn al-Hasan who reported that a man slapped his wife and she complained about him to the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace. Her family who went with her said, “O Messenger of Allah! So-and-so has slapped our girl”. The Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, kept saying,

“Retaliation! Retaliation! And there is no other judgement to be held”.

But then this verse (Men are in charge of women…) was revealed and the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, said: “We wanted something and Allah wanted something else”.

This is important as one example of how Allah corrected the Prophet, pbuh, at times through revelation if he made any judgment that was not sound, and this shows first his humanity and second it automatically refutes the claims that he authored the Qur'an because here we see an example of an external source correcting him.

First, the Common Opinion Regarding the Ayah

"Men are in charge of women because of that with which Allah has made some of them excel the others, and because of what they expend of their property. Therefore righteous women are obedient, guarding in the unseen because of what God has guarded. And those you fear may be rebellious, admonish them, and share not beds with them, and i/adribuhunna (trans. usually as 'beate') them. If they then obey you, do not seek a way against them. God is ever High, Great." [4:34]

The verb idribuhunna in the Qur'anic text is understood to be solely a slap with the palm of the hand on the back, shoulder, thigh, etc without any instruments. It is even unlikely to be a slap on the face because 'slap' in classical Arabic means 'safa'a', and it is usually followed with the preposition 'ala' (on) and the object of the preposition wagh (face). 'Slap her on the face' corresponds to 'esfa'-ha ala waghi-ha'. Similarly, if the action involves using any instrument, the verb is also usually followed with a preposition, and the instrument is the object of the preposition. If a stick or anything (X) is involved, it should be idribuhunna bi-l 'asa (beat them with a stick) or idribuhunna bi X, whatever X is. Nothing of the sort exists in the Arabic text.

The word 'beat' in English is a very inappropriate choice. According to the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary, 'beat' means, "hit (sb/sth) repeatedly, esp. with a stick" (p. 91). Beating a wife repetitively with a stick or with anything else is inconceivable. If a Muslim husband engages in such an act, he must be either mad or acting in a farce.

To have a fair understanding of Islam, a comprehensive view of the big picture is needed. The big picture encompasses an intelligent reading of the Qur'an comparing the ayat dealing with the same theme in different contexts, since the principal method of interpreting the Qur'an is "Qur'anic ayat interpret each other" as well as reading Hadiths, a biography of the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, and modern Shari'ah books. Such readings should be put in perspective, through direct contact with scholars steeped in knowledge or at least learned Muslims. Anything less can be misleading at times. Needless to say, such pursuit is too ambitious and hardly feasible for any non-specialist of Islamic studies. This explains why unveiling the truth about real Islam is not an easy process except for those who approach it with an open heart and get to its spiritual side through direct contact with peaceful learned Muslims.

Tracing the big picture concerning the treatment of wives, we find chapter 38 (ayahs 41-44) relating how Job, who whilst ill, became angry with his wife and took an oath to give her 100 lashes when he recovered. In ayah 44, he is told to strike her (once) with a handful of light grass so that he does not break his oath. This seems to be a symbolic act just to fulfil his oath. At face-value, the ayah may be taken to condone wife beating, albeit lightly.

However, as regards the essence – the struggle between fulfilling the oath and being merciful – this indicates generosity and thoughtfulness towards a wife. Besides, God elsewhere in the Qur'an enjoins husbands to treat their wives well even if they hate them, "… consort with them in kindness; for if you hate them, it may happen that you hate a thing wherein God has set much good" (Qur'an 4: 19).

Turning to relevant Hadiths, the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, said that disciplining wives, if it ever involved slapping, it should be non-harmful. He wonders,

"How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (Al Bukhari, Vol. 8, No. 68).

He also said,

"Some seventy women visited my family complaining about their husbands (beating them). By Allah, you will not find those men to be the best of you" (Reported by Ibn Hibbaan and others).

Inspecting his own life, the Prophet being considered the Qur'an walking on earth and his manners a model of the Qur'an, it is known that he never beat his wives. He even forbade beating slaves,

"Do not beat the female servants of Allah" (Reported by Ibn Hibbaan and others).
One of the last recommendations he made in his last sermon was to enjoin his listeners to treat women well. He said:

"O People! It is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste."

Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri, I went to the Apostle of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) and asked him, What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied,

Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (Sunan Abudawud :: Book: 11 ::: Hadith: 2139)

Hence, the ayah in question should be interpreted in the light of all this. Singling it out for making judgments is wrong. Unfortunately though many husbands misunderstand this and really abuse their wives in a horrible way, but Allah is the Watcher.

Second, an Alternative Reading and Interpretation

A few say that the word in the ayah comes from the root 'Adrib' rather than 'daraba', which means "leave", "go away from". It is related to the word in Arabic which means "strike" as in work strike".

In this case, it will mean something like "go on strike against them", i.e leave them and do not communicate with them, which can indeed be a logical third measure after admonishing them, and leaving them in bed.

Allah knows best.


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