Obedient Angel
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Join date : 2011-04-30
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 | Subject: Necessity of Parental Consent in Marriage  Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:03 am | |
| To what extent to parents have right to chose your life partner?what if they force you to get married to someone in the family and that's the not the ultimate choice in mind to what extent are you convicted if you refuse.Do you have the right to opposed to the choice that your parents have choosen for you?
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle is that one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of both parties, because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) which says that the Prophet said: “A virgin cannot be married until her consent has been sought and a previously-married woman cannot be married until she has been consulted.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her consent?” He said, “If she remains silent.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419)
Consent is essential in the case of the husband, and also in the case of the wife. The parents have no right to force their son or their daughter to marry someone they do not want.
But if the person whom the parents have chosen is righteous, then the child, whether male or female, should obey the parents in that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 865).
But if obeying them will lead to divorce later on, then the child does not have to obey them in that, because consent is the foundation of the marital relationship, and this consent must be in accordance with sharee’ah, which is approval of the one who is religiously committed and of good character.
Shaykh Dr. Khaalid al-Mushayqih
A child is not considered to be disobedient or sinful if he does not obey his parents in this regard.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344
Islam Q&A
Q. Is it permissible for a man and woman to get married without parental consent?
Q. Is there a hadith stopping us to marry. Some agree and some don’t, can you help?
Q. Is it compatibility we look for in marriage? Or is it consent from mom and dad?
Upon a proposal coming for one’s child, parents are responsible for the selection of the spouse for their children with the consent of the child. One aspect deals with the compatibility between the intended couples. The other deals with parental consent so as to give the couple their blessings. Having this in the midst of your mental reservoirs, take note of what Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned: ‘a nikah without the consent of the wali is batil‘ (void, not having any religious weight.) Here Batil can mean one of two things: such a nikah is void, and thus you both would be living in the state of adultery and sin; or as other scholars have stated, batil means a wretched, disliked and a reprehensible action had taken place in the Sight of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Both definitions imply that one should be cautious with their independent mindset on marriage.
Thus, a person insisting on marring a partner without parental consent would be aiding Shaytan to get the better of them. Parents usually toil in the best interest of their children, and their decisions are to prove this as well. Thus, parents examine areas of compatibility in order to be able to give their consent to the most suitable partner. Thus, a son or daughter should never overlook this significant aspect. Matchmakers and third parties eager to volunteer their help should not forget the importance of including parents/guardians (who raised a child worthy enough for the third party to marry off) and other persons as part of the marital process. To ignore critical guardians would be to cause an unwanted and avoidable curse-filled violation upon the self.
By contrast, if the girl and boy are a good moral couple, pious and upright in their actions, and the parents refuse to get such a couple married without just cause, and instead seek a corrupt person for their child, then the matter would be entirely different. Generally, such is not the case. As we are aware, ‘good boys and good girls’ do not refuse the request of their parents to things that are based on good faith and religiosity. When there is disagreement over the proposal that seems good, then of course the parents of the dissenting party (son or daughter) should defer to the child. And as always in the matters of great importance to one’s life, salaat ul isthikhara (prayer for guidance from Allah) should be undertaken.
Thus, depending on the situation, permissibility may exist for some, while not for others.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) bless us all with good religious, faithful and compatible people to be with whilst fulfilling the criteria of ‘good consent’ as well, Ameen.
Allah certainly knows best. | |
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