Obedient Angel
Admin
Join date : 2011-04-30
Posts : 2448
 | Subject: Reasons of Fear and How to Overcome It  Mon Apr 16, 2012 12:13 am | |
| By: Sheikh Salman al-OadahThere are many reasons why people suffer from inordinate levels of fear. Some of these causes may be summarized as follows:
1. Genetic causes. People inherit some of their personality traits from their parents in the same way that they inherit many of their physical characteristics. Intellectual abilities and emotional tendencies can be passed on from parents to their children. If a parent is naturally high strung or emotional, the child has a higher likelihood of being so.
2. Upbringing. The family environment plays an important role in a child’s emotional development. A family that is harsh or overly stern or one that often resorts to threats can instill fear in the hearts of the children.
Family instability is also an important factor. Children who are orphaned and those who experience the divorce of their parents have a greater tendency to suffer from fear.
3. The school. Severity and harshness on the part of the school administration can turn students into people who are fearful and cowed.
This problem is aggravated when the school focuses only on the dissemination of information and ceases to be concerned with the moral and emotional development of the students. Quite often our schools are turned into information grind mills and cease to be places where children receive a share of their upbringing. They are not encouraged to participate in the learning process, to be creative, and to develop their talents. Their moral education is often neglected altogether.
4. High expectations. Parents can push too much for their children to achieve. Professors, teachers, and sheikhs do this as well. A person can have unreasonable expectations for himself. However, when these high expectations come from others, it instills fear in a person, particularly the fear of failure.
Sometimes, a child is placed in a perpetual state of suffering by the high expectations that he must live up to, especially when his parents are never satisfied with a small achievement or expect from their child things that are beyond his abilities.
5. Ridicule. When a small child or a pupil in school is met with ridicule from the people who surround him, it instills fear in his heart. The same can even be said for Islamic workers and other educated people when they meet with ridicule from society at large.
6. Unrestrained and undisciplined scaring. Children are exposed to unnecessary frights through their parents and through many other sources. Being scared in such a way can make a child frightened of everything around him, even the sound of wind, thunder, or rain. Unbalanced and uninformed fears such as these are often acquired by children through the stories and fables that they are told.
Television shows that the children watch, even children’s cartoons, can play a major role in instilling in our children these unreasonable fears. Many of these shows expose the children to images of horrible, ferocious creatures. Watching such things can instill within the minds of children – and even some adults – irrational and unnatural fears.
7. Disabilities. If a person suffers from a disability or deficiency – whether physical, mental, or in his appearance – that causes him to compete less effectively with others, it can cause him to suffer from fear.
8. Feelings of guilt and shame. Many people fall into a state of fear on account of past mistakes that they have made and that they feel have tainted them. Sometimes, what affects a person in this way took place against that person’s free will as the result of force or coercion. Nevertheless, the person continues to be haunted by the experience, feels unclean, and feels that because of it there is a deficiency in his moral character.
Sometimes a person only imagines the things that he is ashamed of and they burden him painfully though they have never really taken place.
Studies conducted in Britain and the United States have revealed that many adolescents in those countries suffer from serious fears, sometimes bordering on mental illness, on account of masturbation. This is in spite of their living in such permissive societies.
It may be possible that, in some cases, those adolescents fear what they perceive as the medical or psychological ramifications of their habit. However, in Muslim societies, these fears are compounded by the Islamic legal implications of masturbation and certain verdicts that have been issued about it by Islamic scholars.
Ironically, a young person might lie, disrespect his parents, or slander others and not feel the least discomfort or regret about doing so. However, when it comes to masturbation, he is wracked with guilt, though the sin is nowhere near as serious as the other misdeeds he so nonchalantly perpetrates on a daily basis.
A final reason. A person can have an inflated opinion of himself. He may feel that he is exceptional or better than others. If a person – whether a child or an adult – feels that he is better looking than others or that he is stronger, better placed socially, or more well endowed in his abilities, he may feel fear on account of it rather than have confidence.
Summary
In summary, we can say that fear is a natural human emotion. It is a necessary part of a person’s natural and healthy psychological makeup. Indeed, some degree of fear is something required from us by Islamic Law. However, the fear that is needed is a balanced fear that is moderate in degree, neither excessively strong nor weak. This balanced fear brings about two important results:
1. Knowledge which gives a person a correct and proper perspective on things.
2. Good works whereby a person deals with other people and things in a correct and proper
manner.
A moderate degree of fear inspires us to acquire useful knowledge and to do what is right. In turn, beneficial knowledge and righteous deeds are the ingredients for success in the worldly life and in the Hereafter.
To the extent that the emotion of fear become imbalanced – whether too much or too little – it brings about a deficiency in the acquisition of knowledge and the performance of good deeds.
***
Three Powerful Tips to Overcome Fear
As humans we all experience fear, even some of the most successful and confident people experience fear. Fear can be a good thing because it prevents us from taking steps that can harm us, but quite often our fears are based on exaggerated assumptions. These fearful thoughts come in the ways of working towards our goals & dreams.
Some of the common fears we experience:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of being rejected
- Fear of not meeting our own expectations
When we realize that we’re being excessively fearful, how do we over come them? Here are 3 ways:
1. Have Proper Perspective
The reason for the fear is often because our perspective of the situation is skewed. Our fears are based on wrong assumptions. By correcting these assumptions we get a proper perspective on our situation.
Put your fearful thoughts in perspective by asking the following questions:
What is the worst that can happen if my fear came true?
What is more likely to happen if that fear were to be actually realised?
What is the best outcome possible for me, if I acted in spite of my fear?
Once you’ve answered them, discuss these questions with a close friend. Getting another point of view on the situation will help in getting a proper perspective. You’ll realize that:
The worst possible outcome isn’t so bad, and is something you can handle.
The best possible outcome is very rewarding.
2. Replace Fear with Curiosity
I learnt this lesson from a National Geographic ad. When you’re fearful you create a barrier of separateness between yourself and the world/other people. This perception of other becomes a threat, and you have thoughts like “What will he think of me?”, “What if it doesn’t work out?”, “What if I fail?”. These thoughts close a person from taking action.
But when you’re curious it opens you up, and brings in enthusiasm. Thoughts of fear are replaced with thoughts of curiosity.
So to be more curious, replace the negative thoughts of fear like “I’m afraid they’ll not like my idea” with “I’m curious to know what others think”. Become an interested person who’s open to new ideas & experiences.
3. Trust in Allah
Allah says in the Qur’aan: “Those who believe, and do deeds of righteousness, and establish regular prayers and regular charity, will have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.” [Qur'an Chater 2 Verse 277]
If you have trust in Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala, then you can overcome anything. Allah also reassures us in the Qur’aan that:
“If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, let believers put their trust.” [Qur'an Chapter 3 Verse 160]
If you believe from the depths of your heart that the Creator of the universe wishes the best for you, then no matter what happens, you won’t be worried. As long as you know you’re taking the right action then no matter what the outcome is, you’ll surrender to it with peace. There’s nothing to be afraid of, because there is nothing better than being content with the knowledge that the Creator of the universe is doing what is best for you.
Once you’ve taken action in spite of the fear, take time out to celebrate! This will reinforce in your mind that having the courage to face your fears is a rewarding experience.
Be fearless – Be Muslim.
So now we’ve discussed how we can overcome fears, tell us what your biggest fear is or share with us the ways you have overcome them! We look forward to your thoughts below. | |
|
